What Happens When Things Go Wrong: Further Reflections

In my last post, I reflected on how difficult it can be to build relationships, trust, and visibility when things are tough for us both personally and professionally. I was struggling to reconcile the need to do these things when circumstances work against us, and my injury has unfortunately led to continued absences which further damage my ability to be reliable and relevant with every day off.

I recently found a Reddit post from an early career teacher who was struggling with similar feelings of guilt and ineffectiveness due to a bout of the flu. The comments from fellow teachers indicated that this is a widespread problem among our profession, and we often find it hard to put ourselves first in difficult times for fear of failing our students or adding to our co-workers already-intense workloads. I’m far from alone in these thoughts, so I thought for this post I’d share a few things that have helped me recently.

After all, as a wise woman in a fabulous dress told me, sometimes we need to stop and reframe things to put them into a more helpful perspective!

Reframe Our Understandings and Look For ‘Chopportunities’

One thing to consider is what it actually means to be reliable and reframe our understandings. Cambridge dictionary offers the following definitions:

  1. Someone or something that can be trusted or believed because he, she, or it works or behaves well in the way you expect;
  2. Deserving trust; dependable;
  3. Someone you can trust to work hard and do what they say they will do.

ChatGPT offers a similar breakdown: Being reliable means consistently performing a task or fulfilling a duty with accuracy, dependability, and trustworthiness. A reliable person can be counted on to follow through on commitments, meet deadlines, and deliver results consistently. They demonstrate consistency in their actions and behavior, which builds trust and confidence in others.

Interestingly, neither of these sources say anything about showing up 100% of the time. I’ve been lucky that I’m in the position to work from home a few hours each day, so I’m still following through on my commitments and meeting deadlines where possible even if I’m not physically present. Given the circumstances, I’m working to the best of my ability, even if that capacity is somewhat reduced. I’ve previously written about the idea of the ‘chopportunity’ – a challenge that can be reframed as an opportunity. While I might not be physically present to teach classes and support people on site, I can instead view this as an opportunity to get some admin work done without interruption.

Be Kind to Ourselves

However, even if I wasn’t able to work from home, it’s important for educators to remember is that there’s no prize if we sacrifice ourselves upon the altar of teaching! Martyrdom might be a good career move for aspiring saints, but for teachers (and many other professions) sometimes, to be our best selves and to ensure we continue working to our best abilities, we need to take the time to heal. If I need to take a day or a week or even a month to recover from illness or injury, then that’s what is needed. We’re not the Terminator, able to sacrifice ourselves and then resurrect for several sequels. At the end of the day we’re human and need to treat ourselves with kindness (and no, this doesn’t mean ordering Uber Eats).

Watching and redirecting negative self-talk is a big one here. One helpful strategy is to treat yourself like you would a colleague or a friend. Would you criticise them for not running a class when they’re off due to injury or illness? Would you think of them as unreliable for taking the time they need to heal? We wouldn’t talk to others that way and I certainly wouldn’t put up with the kids treating each other poorly in my classroom, so it’s important that we don’t talk to ourselves negatively either.

Don’t Make It Personal

In this instance, I need to remind myself that I’m not letting others down; my circumstances, which are absolutely beyond my control, are letting others down. I’m not the main character in this narrative, and I’m not responsible for the education system which makes it so hard for teachers to take time off without impacting our jobs. I’m an NPC, a cog in the machine, another brick in the wall. My guilt around letting others down therefore is a reflection of systemic issues rather than any personal malice or incompetence. Worrying about not being there for my colleagues and students might be a valid concern, but it’s definitely not helpful to dwell on and forget the wider context of my absence.

Control What You Can

“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.”

I’m not an alcoholic nor am I particularly religious, but there’s a lot of wisdom in the AA Serenity Prayer. Our fears and negative thoughts are often fed by the thought of ‘what if’ which can cause us to spiral. What if my absence makes things harder when I return? What if the lack of access to the library space affects the momentum I’ve built with the library programs? What if teachers won’t trust me and want to work alongside me since they can’t rely on me? I could go on, but it really wouldn’t be helpful. I can’t change what how others respond to my absence or the fact that I can’t physically be present right now.

Instead, I need to focus on ‘what is’ and, in particular, what I can control in this situation. I am supporting my students and colleagues where possible by working from home and teaching online. I am taking the time I need to heal so I minimise the risk of reinjury, especially considering that this isn’t the first time it’s happened at work. I am giving my body what it needs to be able to perform my duties effectively when I return. And, most importantly, my actions (where possible) are still aligning with my values, and I’m celebrating my successes as they come, however big or small they might be. After all, I’m very fortunate in my role to be able to have the impact that I do!

So there you have it – my rambling thoughts on how we can live our best lives even when things go wrong. If anyone reads this and has other tips on how to get through difficult times as teachers, feel free to comment below!


Reliability and Trust: How Can We Keep Going When Things Go Wrong?

The last few weeks have been an emotional and physical rollercoaster! In addition to dealing with the stress of soon having to attend court to testify against an ex-colleague regarding things I reported at the start of my career, I’ve also managed to dislocate my kneecap while putting together a display promoting Shakespeare on our brand new, you beaut shelves, so I’m off work for a bit. Needless to say, I’m not living my best teacher-librarian life right now.

In a world where teacher librarian roles are misunderstood and at risk of being diminished or dismissed, so much of the TL degree emphasised the importance of being accessible to our colleagues, open to collaboration, and presenting ourselves as reliable, trusted experts who can support their work and make their lives easier. Several researchers highlight the importance of trust, reliability and strong relationships as crucial factors in leadership (Branch-Mueller & Rodger, 2022; Ezard, 2015), which is especially important considering that most TL positions are leading from the middle without formal authority (Cox & Korodaj, 2019). Indeed, the International Literacy Association (2022) argued that there are 3 key factors which boost perceptions of teacher-librarians as essential within a school:

  1. Librarians as collaborators.
  2. Librarians as advocates of literacy equity.
  3. Librarians as providers of access.

To advocate effectively for the importance of our role, we therefore need to become important in the eyes of those around us. We need to be visible and position ourselves as essential for both staff and students, to become reliable sources for support and access to resources, and to build strong relationships with all members of our community based on mutual respect, trust, and recognition of what we do.

But what happens when things go wrong? How can we build this trust and these relationships when we can’t be reliable? What happens when staff are willing to work with us, but factors beyond our control threaten to break that trust?

So much has been written about the need to be reliable, trustworthy, collaborative, and supportive, but I couldn’t find much at all on what we can do when circumstances work against us despite our best efforts! It’s so easy to give in to despair when things constantly seem to go wrong, and so hard to be visible when you literally can’t get in to your workplace!

Over the last fortnight I’ve needed to cancel two senior research lessons and my Wide Reading classes, and since I’m not replaced when I’m absent the library has been shut during the breaks, affecting access to the space, its resources, and the safety it offers so many of our students. All the little ways I support teaching and learning at our school – such as mentoring students, de-escalating heightened kids, making sure students aren’t truanting in the library – as well as the big ones like maintaining the collection and providing valuable learning opportunities have come to a halt as a result of my absence.

Each setback represents a step backwards in the progress I’ve made in centering the library within our school community, with loans and visitor data always reflecting how hard it is to bounce back after extended closures. I’ve witnessed the impact of unreliability with previous librarians as both a student and staff member, and I need to ensure that this doesn’t become my reality.

As such, I’ll need to work twice as hard upon my return to catch up on missed work, repair relationships and rebuild trust in my abilities and reliability. After all, how we bounce back from adversity can be a ‘chopportunity’ to showcase our professionalism and advocate for our continued importance to our school community. It’s also important to model resilience to those around us, and to remember to control what we can and try not to worry about the things we can’t.

I also need to remember I’m lucky that I have built strong relationships with various staff members in my school, and although I might feel I’m letting them down they’re generally very understanding about my situation. I’ve been in frequent communication with many of my regular collaborating teachers during my absence, offering up lesson resources and the library space in an attempt to ensure minimal disruption and continued support of their work. I’m attempting to do as much work from home as I can, which will hopefully make the transition back to work onsite a little less overwhelming.

If anyone reading has further suggestions on how to build reliability and trust as a teacher-librarian in need, I’d love to hear them! In the meantime, I’m going to do my best to be like Dory, and just keep swimming!